Got up still feeling rather blah, but with the happy expectation that after going to the loo standing on the scales would afford me some escape from feeling rather down but nope they tell me after yesterdays not enough time to eat day no weight has budged 7.12 3/4 damn, I did however catch a glance at my legs and thought with delight for one split second that they looked less dimpled but no a trick of the light, the battle continues, so down the gym again.
Looks like it might be a good day today in that the sun is shinning, as ever have stuff to do, would be nice to be curled up with someone who cares about me but I'm beginning to think that that wont happen, yes how very sad and yes their are people worse off than me but I cant help the ego the physiological response of self..
I've got to get into meditation again.
Here's a dilemma old men keep staring at me, I think I've become the young bit of stuff silent scream, they seem to all look like they've retired ten years ago, this really and I'm not going to be diplomatic and I do mean really fat guy kept looking at me with yes dare I say it expectation in his eyes i did check to see I hadn't touched something and smeared it on my face thus attracting attention but no saldy I think he was thinking !, oh dear, now if you think about it although they look really old their probably not (British men seem to age rather badly check out dating sites !!) should I consider this option Nooooooooooo not working..
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